Relapse.

Spending a while away from here has made me realise that without my search for having a stick figure i am pretty much a waste of space. 
Thats what you get for being fat i guess.. A waste of space. 

So i tried to recover. Again. And failed. Again. 

Looks like this is my life until i reach my goals ayye?

Im not too bothered by it if im honest with you.. Im quite glad i have Ana back. Ive missed her..


Ive spent this past week with a stomach bug.. Bleugh.. 
Couldnt keep anything down.. Lost 3lbs in 3 days. Pretty good going i guess.. I ate pizza last night. Half a pizza (340) and as much as i hate myself for saying this.. I kinda enjoyed it.. And i didnt hate myself.. Until i was at my boyfriends house.. Things got.. Firsky ;) And whilst on top, i caught a glimpse of my elephant thigh.. And i was nauseated. 


This week i have to be really careful.. I have to lose as much as i can. Then 4 days left of school, and im gone all summer long.. All summer to be perfect. All summer to live on as little as possible.. Plus, i will be working all day everyday hopefully... So i can 'eat' whilst at work.. The only meal i might have to have is dinner.. Which tbh, i can keep low cal and purge if i cant. 


I can sort this.
I can be thin.
I WILL be thin.


<3